Ties van der Meer doesn’t know how many siblings he has.
The 47-year-old was conceived at a private fertility clinic in the Netherlands using sperm provided by an anonymous donor. After the Netherlands banned anonymous donation in 2004, the doctor who ran the clinic destroyed records that might have identified those donors, he says.
He describes the situation as “problematic.” Children have a right to know their biological parents, he says. While he did ultimately track down one sibling, who helped him identify his father along with other genetic relatives, he may have others he’ll never find.
Other donor-conceived people who have been able to track down siblings have found they have tens or even hundreds of them. One donor-conceived woman who found 25 half-siblings over the course of seven years told the Guardian, “It does make you feel a bit mass-produced.”
We need international limits on the number of children a single donor can contribute to, a European fertility organization argued yesterday. At a conference in London, members laid out plans to start with a Europe-wide limit.
Today many countries, including the UK, have banned anonymous egg and sperm donation. But anonymity can’t be guaranteed even in places where it is technically allowed. Genetic tests offered by companies like Ancestry and 23andMe, along with genetic registries, have made it much easier for donor-conceived people to find parents and siblings who share their genes.
And because sperm can be frozen and stored for years before it is eventually used, the current set-up can result in situations where donor-conceived people discover the identity of a genetic parent only after the person’s death. They might also find that they have siblings of very different ages, all around the world.
Some people are finding hundreds of siblings. Sperm from Jonathan Meijer, a Dutch man who began donating in 2007, was used to conceive between 550 and 600 children. (Stichting Donorkind, a foundation and advocacy group for donor-conceived people that’s chaired by van der Meer, took him to court, and he was ordered to stop donating in 2023.)
Stories like these can be distressing for donor-conceived people. And there are other reasons why limits are considered important. The offspring of a prolific donor might be at risk of unknowingly forming romantic or sexual relationships, for instance. And some people are concerned that a donor with a harmful genetic mutation might pass that down to many children.
This is unlikely, given the level of screening that most donors undergo. But it has happened. A man who donated his sperm to a sperm bank in Denmark was found to have a genetic mutation that significantly increased the risk of multiple cancers. But his sperm had already been used to conceive at least 197 children across Europe. Some of those children developed cancer. Some died.
Many countries already have legal limits for donors. In Malta and Cyprus, for example, both egg and sperm donors are allowed to contribute to the birth of just a single child, according to data presented at the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology (ESHRE) meeting in London on July 8.
Other countries set limits based on the number of families a single donor can contribute to, allowing recipients to have children who share a genetic link. In the UK, that limit is set at 10 families per donor.
But these limits are difficult to enforce, partly because donated gametes don’t necessarily stay in their original country. In Denmark, the national limit is set at 12 families. But the country is a major exporter of sperm. In the UK, for example, more than half of sperm donations in 2020 were imported—with most of those coming from either Denmark or the US.
“The only thing that really makes sense is a transnational limit,” Jackson Kirkman-Brown, a professor of reproductive biology at the University of Birmingham, said at the meeting.
Kirkman-Brown and his colleagues have spent months putting together a document that represents ESHRE’s position on these limits. After consulting with fertility specialists, clinics, sperm and egg banks, donors, and donor-conceived people, the team has developed a plan to start with a Europe-wide limit on sperm and egg donations.
ESHRE is calling on sperm and egg banks, as well as fertility clinics, to respect an initial limit of 50 families per donor. That’s still very high, according to a handful of people I spoke to at the meeting. But at least it’s a start.
Europe should move toward setting limits at 15 families per donor, Kirkman-Brown said. “We may find that 15 is also too high,” says Vasanti Jadva, who studies the psychological well-being of people conceived using donated eggs, sperm, and embryos at City St George’s in London. “We still don’t know what the right number is.”
It will be difficult to enforce these limits, too. And if they end up limiting the supply of donor sperm, there’s a chance that some people will turn to unregulated sperm donations from people who do not undergo health screening. Unregulated donations can lead to other problems for prospective parents, including the possibility that donors will seek parental rights over the children conceived using their sperm.
And it will be even harder to establish international limits. When I asked the American Society of Reproductive Medicine for its thoughts on ESHRE’s proposed limits, a representative directed me to a guidance document saying “it has been suggested” that for a population of 800,000, single donors should be limited to “no more than 25 births” in order to avoid the risk that relatives will have children together. (Considering the US has a population of over 340 million, the total figure could be pretty high, but many sperm banks opt to limit the number of families contributed to by a single donor at around 25.)
van der Meer thinks that even a limit of five families from a single donor would be high. International donation makes it even harder for donor-conceived people to connect with genetic relatives, so the limit for international contributions should be set at two families, he says.
Still, he thinks ESHRE’s suggested limit is a “positive first step.” Van der Meer has managed to track down a sibling, his father, and nephews, aunts, and uncles. He hopes that future policies respect the rights of donor-conceived children to know, and be in contact with, their genetic relatives.
“But,” he says, “you have to start somewhere.”
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